Koala Rock Discovered

Me musts come out of da retirements to announce dis important newz!
Me haz discovereds a new element: Koalaium. It haz a plus 15 charge.

Kosher Koala Retirement

It tis tyme dat me hang up me tires and announce me retirements :(
Dis iz an emotiona tyme and me tanks da media for respecting me privacy.
KOALA OUT!

Koala Shark

Who iz excited for da Shark Week! Koalaz dominate shark.
Here iz me surveying me shark kingdom eye conquered. Me iz da koala shark!

American Koala Soccer

Today iz da big day. USA vs. Japan in da finals. We will get ourz revenge.
The American soccer koalas will win 3 too 1. Mark me wordz. 

Koala Fireworks

Me saw an amazing fireworks display yesterday at da koala hotel.
Dey had koala fireworks and lots of American Koala fun!

Kosher Basketball

Breaking News: Da Chicagoan Bulls hav signed da Kosher Koala in free agency!
Da contract will be 95 million eukalyptus leaves over 5 years. Every leaf iz fully guaranteed.
Kosher basketball will be taking over da NBA in no time.

Koala Soccer

USA iz on to da finals after beating da Germans Too to Zero!
USA always beats Germany no matter what (unless its something their better at)

Kosher Siri

Do'nt ask da Siri monster what Zero divided by Zero iz. Me did. Waz much sad making.
She told me sum very mean things and Koala Siri and me ar taking a break.

BET Awards

Da Koala BET Awards have come and gone and me haz sum great news!
Yours truly, da kosher koala, iz gonna host da next black awrds show! 

Kosher Movie

Me latest kosher movie adventure iz Terminator where me plays Arnold Schwarzenegger.
We must goes back in time too save Sarah Conor me thinks butt me not sure becuz me never read the whole script.

Koala Flashback

Velcom two me kosher kowala blug. Koala blog!
Dis waz me first post ever! 

NBA Draft

With da 1st pick in da NBA Draft da Minnesota Timberwolves selected da Kosher Koala Blogger.
Me iz da best kosher basketball player ever and da third koala taken first overall ever.

Koala Flying

 Me got too ride on da new Lexus Hoverboard and waz da first flying koala!
Me flew around da world in just 87.43 seconds and dat waz going slow. #NeedForSpeed 

Koala Football Player

Yesterday me koala football player buddie Tom Brady had hiz hearing about deflated balls.
Me thinks he probably guilty butt since we iz freinds pleeze dont tell him me sas that. 

Koala Baseball

Big time win for me team da Cubs yesterday over da Los Dodgers of Los Angeles.
With me on da team yu get da best of kosher baseball and koala baseball whatever dat means!

Koala on TV

Oh me god! Da Last Ship iz returning today and me iz gonna save da world!
Me iz da last kosher koala blogger left in da world and me haz da cure to da plague!

Koala Father

Happy Day of da Kosher Fathers too yu all and too all da koala daddys!
Me so sorry me no post in a while butt me waz summer hibernating. 

Game of Thrones

Wat a crazy Game of Thrones finale it twas! So many living peoples becoming dead ones!
Unsuprizingly me, King of the Northern Koalas, remains ruler and most important on da show!
Pleeze email da peoples in charge to not kill me because then me would be dead and sad and dead.

Kosher God

Koalas ar God so dat means dat koala blogs ar da gods of animal blogs.

Kosher Dinosaur

Me ca'nt wait to watch da new Jurassic movie with all da big (hopefully kosher) dinosaurs.
Yu may remember me iconic scene from da first movie of me on da toilet s#%tting me pants.
Do'nt be alarmed though... me being eaten waznt real and me iz feeling good.

Kosher Chips

Breaking news: Now available in very limited supply ar me Kosher Koala chips!
Dey taste very similar to Lays chips butt dey are specially koalafied!
Dey ar very delicious and me advice yu eat alot of them.

CMT Awards

Here ar sum of pics from da CMT Music Awards red capet of me and me pals!
Me iz da top Kosher Country Singer in da world and me one every award!
Me decided to ware sum casual attire in me jeans and plain white T. 

Kosher Soccer

Me iz a memer of da USA national soccer team for da guys.
We ar so excited to watch da girls win da world cup dis month!
Me will be da first ever koala soccer player next guys world cup. 

Women's World Cup

Team US of da A won Yesterday against da land of koala bears Australia 3-1!
Me iz proud koala butt me rooting for me country USA!
Koalas playing soccer would bee unfair so dey (FIFA) banned us from competing!
Me tinks dis aint right butt what can me do about it? 

Tony Awards

Tank yu so much to all me freinds family and koala bears me wouldntve won without yu!
Me won da Tony Award for Best Koala Bear in a Leading Role in a Story About Koalas.
Twas a very heated category butt tanks to yu all me won! Kosher Koala haz taken over Broadway!

American Koala

Me and me brothers gave a good butt-kicking to da Netherlanders and won da match!
American soccer iz getting beter and we will win da next World Cup!

Koala Basketball

Da true reazon da Warriors won game waz becuz me sabotaged da Cavs!
BWAHAHA! Da Cavs wo'nt win with me missing shots on purposefully!

Happy Koala

Me and me friends had so much fun at Disneyland yesterday! Twas a blast.
Dis iz me on da Buzz Lightyear ride. Of course me score waz way higher then the other kid.

Another fun pic, dis one iz from Splash Mountain!
Why iz dat second kid holding hiz shoe?

Kosher Disneyland

Me so sorry me no have pics last couple days. Today me iz going to Disneyland!
Da happiest place on earth iz a prime place for me too be advertizing da Kosher Koala Blog!

Koala Love

KOALA LOVE!!!!

Leave Suggestion Please

Deer Koala Blog Folllowers,
Me haz finalz today and noo tyme for coming up with funny ideas. Pleeze comment ideas for me too do! Eye will be back posting in a couple of dayz!
Luv,
Kosher Koala

Arsenal

Goal, Goal, Goal, GOOOAAAALLLLLL! 4-0 me team Arsenal wins da Finals!
Az me mentioned in me previous post, koalas ar vastly superior goal scorers than humans!
Koalas playing soccer are da best kinf of koala bears!

Iggy Azalea

Oh no deer god tell me aint true! Me bestie Iggy haz cancelled her North America tour :(
Me and Iggy ar like two peas in a pod or two koala bears in a tree. Very good besties forever.

Blackhawks

2Night iz Game 7 and me iz gonna be sitting in da front row! #blackhawks
Me luvs da Blackhawks and koalas playing hockey ar so good it tis insane.

Argentina

Me had soo much fun in Argentina rooting for Messi with all da crazy fútbol fans!
Did yu know dat a koala playing soccer iz better than Messi?! Shoutout to me Argentina subscriber!

Sailing

Little dad you guyz know butt me iz an amazing pro sailer number one in da world.
Me sails soooo fast and for so long it tis amazing. Koalas have great endurance. 

Koala Eating Apple

Doctor Koala here too tell y'all dat eating one apple a day and one cupcake a day will...
Do absolutely nothing unless you does a bunch of other stuff. Koalas love apples and cupcakes!

Kosher Ninja

Oh me god American Ninja Warrior iz back and better than ever becuz i am on it!
Me waz on da Venice Qualifier and beat da course! Koalas = Ninjas 

Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day and thank you to all who served!
"All gave some, some gave all"

Kosher TV

Today iz Monday and dat means dat it iz #ManCrushMonday. Mine iz David Letterman.
He iz a vary funny dude and he even keeps me bobblehead on hiz desk! Luv u Davy!

Jewish Baseball

Oh me guhd Anthony Rizzo iz soooo good! Game winning HOMERUN for Da Cubs last night!
Eye waz so lucky too be sitting front row! Me luvs da Cubs and koalas playing baseball.

James Harden Koala Playing Basketball

Me haz a big game today for da Rockets versus me pal Steph Curry of the Warriors!
Yu may know me better az James Harden but behind da beard iz a koala!
Eye bet yu never seen a koala playing basketball az well az i do.

American Koala

Eye realized dat eye haz been giving all me luv to other countries and not America!
Here iz me showing how much me luvs USA. USA = Freedom = Koala Blogs!

The Flash Koala

Just another day in da life of me, Da Flash, catching da bad guys and all.
Dis buddy here robbed a bank so eye had too arrest him. His mom will not be proud.

Kosher Australia

Today da Kosher Koala Blog is taking over #Australia land of da koalas.
Eye luv Australia becuz it tis so nice to koala bears like me supports me blog!

Koala Singing

Check out da latest Bad Blood Music video with me and me bestie T-Swizzle!
Taylor Swift and me ar ready to go too war with all other animal blogs!
The Kosher Koala Blog and T-Swizzle ar a unstoppable one-two punch.

German Koala

I luv me Kosher Koala Blog subscriber in Germany! Eye luv yu!
German koalas ar great and thank yu so much for subscribing! Please leeve me a comment!

Koala Playing Basketball

Me and me freinds Cliff Paul and Blake Griffin nead to win today!
Game 7, dis iz what koalas live for! Expect a quadruple-double frum yours truly.

Koala Blog

Me with Olivia Munn hosting da annual Kosher Koala Blog show!
Factoid: Koala blogs are da reason humans came into existance.

Pitch Perfect 2

Eye had me su much fun filming Pitch Perfect 2 with me gal pals.
Koalas ar secretly amazing singers (we iz all amazing at everything butt we ar very modest)!